Engineer at the Movies: Reviews… Alien: Covenant

(Images via and TM of Twentieth Century Fox)

It’s hard not to feel letdown by sci-fi these days.

Ghost in the Shell, Life, Passengers, Transformers The Last Knight, all glorious looking wastes of time. To add to that, these films are some of the longest in the genres history. This list alone is almost 10 hours of life down the drain.

(What else could I have done with that time. How about building some science fact? A project or two.)

My dismay aside, Alien Covenant should be added to the tomb of science fiction film pointlessness.

Visuals are not shocking or interesting. The film opens with a scene out of any those clean modern-retro sci-fi movies. I get the sense of Bruce Wayne’s lake house in the Dark Knight Rises, mixed with Beyond the Black Rainbow and Ex Machina. Nothing new here. A pointless scene to establish a reason for sequels.

I have to admit though, I have a growing grudge against this Ridley Scott Alien film series revival. Due to his insistence on putting out this drivel, we lose a chance to see Neill Blomkamp’s Alien film that would have been a sequel to the 1986 film Aliens. Blomkamp’s film would star series favorite core characters Ellen Ripley, Dwayne Hicks and Newt! Reconning all films that followed Aliens. I will admit, I was so disappointed as a kid seeing Alien 3 that it left me inconsolable for years. What a garbage sequel.

Later I found out that Alien 3 is a film taught in film school. Showing how scripts can change so dramatically between revisions. It was a troubled production that cost the series its heart. Fun fact, one of the original Alien 3 scripts was written award-winning science fiction writer William Gibson. That one did not make it to the final film.

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Engineer at the Movies: Reviews… Alien: Covenant

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Back to Alien Covenant; you are wondering is it worth watching? Yes and no. Yes, if you have laundry to do. No, if you do not. This is a definite “do something else while this plays” type of story. You will not miss anything in this ham-fisted tale of science fiction cliché.

The first point that could make you turn it off: The ragtag heroes discover a life-zone planet, like Earth. Of course, they go see it. When they reach the surface they, venture out 11 miles (18km) from their target. And they land in water, not considering space leeches at all. And they go out without hazmat suits or any type. You’re in a new place possibly rife with contaminants, how could they not use breathers of some sort? Guess what… they get contaminated!

Somehow they slowly creep through a forest and made it to the 11-mile spot within a few hours.

(Behind the scenes animatronics of the little white alien killer rabbits. Via alien-covenant.com and Image via and TM of Twentieth Century Fox)

Soon after we are introduced to the monster. It's a classic monster movie buildup. When the monsters show up, the bring with it visions of the Monty Python killer white rabbit.

With the coming of the classic Alien film monster, we get a handful of “hello my baby, hello my honey” Space Balls scenes. It’s a bit laughable, to be honest.

The climax tries to steal from the movie Aliens, but it falls flat. It’s a predictable bore.

And it ends with a classic Twilight Zone or Outer Limits twist that we saw, literally an hour earlier. Talk about obvious. They almost had a “nyahaha” ending mustache twist conclusion. This film could have ended with a black screen with white letters “… the end?”

Alien and Aliens are masterpieces. Everything else is just pandering fan-fiction. Alien Covenant failed to live up to expectations, and under-performed at the box office. It’s clear why. Because it leaves you asking why does this exist?

Neill Blomkamp has officially stated his sequel is never going to happen due to Ridley Scott Alien films. This news being the final nail in the coffin for an Alien film salvation. Ridley Scott thought he could return to the Alien franchise and make magic again. Sorry, but he didn’t bring it like George Miller with Mad Max Fury Road.

Seeing the concept art for Neill Blomkamp’s "Aliens" sequel is better than these Ridley Scott films.

Oh yeah, Alien Covenant... I rate it 2.00 out of 5.00.

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